Write for Workforced

Do you have an office rant that you’d like to share? Perhaps a co-worker with annoying habits? Maybe you’d like to guide other office workers around the World on some particular aspect of office life.

Whatever the case I’d love to hear from you. Here’s what you need to know:

• Writing should be work-related and funny. Workforced is meant to be a comedy blog, even when I ramble on about how hard it is to adjust my office chair. Who designed this damn chair? Why does the back lock straight every time I try to adjust the height? I don’t think the back mechanism is even connected to the height. No wait, I got it.  Wrong lever.

• Articles should be original and written by you. If you send me something I’ve written I’ll probably realize it. Please check your spelling and grammar, polish your shoes and comb your hair.

• Illustrations are welcome but not necessary, either separately or accompanying an article. Even though the amazing Sam Szulc illustrates Workforced from time to time my naff MS Paint efforts have a much lower quality threshold.

• Use this email address to get in touch. If you use this one instead, you’ll be asking the US Department of Labor for labor force statistics and I’m not sure why you’d want to do that.

• By submitting your article you agree to the terms and conditions below, which I’ve copied from another website but interspersed with quotes from the 1997 movie Con Air.

Terms and Conditions

Any and all Content, ideas, and other information you transmit to Workforced (”Submission”) via the Website, email, or any other method of communication shall remain your sole and exclusive property, and you shall be solely responsible for your Submission and the consequences of posting or publishing them. Make a move and the bunny gets it. By submitting your Submissions to Workforced, you hereby grant Workforced and its successors a worldwide, perpetual, non-exclusive, irrevocable, royalty-free, sublicenseable (through multiple tiers) and transferable license (with a right to create derivative works) to use, copy, transmit or otherwise distribute, perform, publicly perform and display your Submissions for any legal purposes whatsoever now known or hereinafter becomes known. You also grant each user of the Website a non-exclusive license to access your Submission through the Website. You with me, or do you need me to draw it in crayon, like usual?

By making a Submission, you waive the right to make any claim against Workforced or any of its respective parents, subsidiaries, affiliates, successors, employees, agents, directors, officers, and shareholders related to the Submission, including, but not limited to, unfair competition, invasion of privacy, negligence, breach of implied contract or breach of confidentiality, and you further waive all moral rights you may have in any materials uploaded or sent to us by you. Well, Baby-O, it’s not exactly mai-thais and yatzee out here but… let’s do it! You represent and warrant that your Submissions: (a) shall be true, accurate, current, complete and not misleading, (b) shall not violate the rights of any third party, including, but not limited to, intellectual property and proprietary rights, (c) shall not be fraudulent or involve counterfeit or stolen information or items, (d) shall not violate any law, statute, ordinance or regulation, and (e) shall not create any liability for Workforced or any of its respective parents, subsidiaries, affiliates, successors, employees, agents, directors, officers, and shareholders related to the Submission. You also agree to maintain and promptly notify Workforced in order to keep that information true, accurate, current and complete. The last Mohican is burning, man!

By making a Submission, you agree that you are not entitled to any compensation or notice whatsoever. You further represent and warrant that you own or have the necessary licenses, rights, consents, and permissions to use and authorize Workforced to use all patent, trademark, trade secret, copyright or other proprietary rights in and to any and all Submissions to enable inclusion and use of the Submissions in the manner contemplated by this Agreement. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. I have the only gun on board. Welcome to Con Air.