Having taken a quick break to respond to some fan mail last week, we now return to our regular programming: slating management. Sticking with senior managers, it’s about high time they were called to task for their snootiness and arrogance. Of course, if I ever get promoted to a senior level I take all of this back.
Senior Managers – Part 2
If money is the root of all evil then senior managers have deep roots. Some senior managers can be decidedly cranky or mean. When explaining a proposal to a senior manager I outlined some basic facts that he disagreed with. He didn’t want to change any of his well-ingrained habits, which was a shame because his process wasn’t working very well anymore. Suffice to say we didn’t get off to a good start; five minutes into the meeting he turned and said “I’ve been doing this for 20 years.”
At this point I turned and gave one of the following answers (see if you can pick which one):
- And for how long have you sucked?
- So why didn’t you think of this?
- I, er, well, er, I’m so sorry please don’t beat me with a keyboard.
Answers on a postcard. Despite spending the next ten minutes having new orifices torn from places I didn’t know were possible no one else battered an eyelid. In retrospect I should have just thanked him for the anecdote only I was too busy crying into my water glass and watching my reputation slip into the shredder.
When you have power people fall over themselves to make excuses for your acting like an ass: “He’s having a bad day” or “He’s been under a lot of stress lately.” Well, I’m under him, so I have my own stress plus his. The lower down you are the more people get to poop on you.
I wonder if his stress was due to the ora of gossip around him. It can’t be all jade-lined bidets and falcon omelets, I imagine senior management comes with an enormous amount of chattering. Management affairs, divorces and marital spats quickly become common knowledge. The bigger you are, the harder they gossip.
Aside from the crankiness and gossip the last distinguishing feature of senior managers is their inability to remember anyone’s name (or more specifically my name). Of course you know their name, everyone does.
“Good night Mr. Johnson.”
“Good night Rishi.”
I’m white. Where the hell did you get Rishi from? What part of me looks even vaguely Indian? I mean Rishi, of all names, why Rishi?
“Good morning Rishi.”
“Good morning Mr. Johnson.”
Dick.
;)
{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
ahhahaha…good one:) have a great day
Kisses
Since when is “I’ve been doing this for 20 years” a good reason to continue?? I suppose that’s what the dinosaurs are thinking when they print out documents, make hand-written edits and proceed to fax them back to me. I can’t wait until all the fax machines are broken and they’re no longer manufacturing replacements.
Yeah, I don’t know why starting something several decades ago means you know everything that is relevant and good *now*.
Having been “upper” management for the better part of my life, I’ve had the immense joy of walking in on someone entertaining the rest of the employees with their imitation of me… I was laughing so hard, we almost missed customer – because he was right on point. I agree with you, up to a point… I think the more upper management knows what they are doing, the nicer they are and the less impressed with themselves they become. Nasty bosses were always nasty people but now they make more money and have power… It’s a bad combination. You, of course, are the exception and will become an exemplary boss. (I’m guessing, Richi – or, whatever your name is – you responded with number two.)
I probably would have written an email about Dick’s affair with the guy in accounting (Dick is married to the owner’s ugly daughter and that’s how he got into senior management, don’tcha know) and how they were embezzling and bleeding the company dry and that’s why nobody got a raise this year and then I would have accidentally sent it to EVERYONE in the company because my writing is usually pretty good but occasionally technology is simply beyond my comprehension.
Infinities of love,
Lola
What a ballsy and accurate post. Rishi…I love it!
Hubby says senior manageer never knew his name(and he liked it that way) XXX
This is why I’m so glad I don’t have a boss! No one calls me Rishi.
Jai
“ora of gossip”? Er, that would be “aura”.
Can ya do a post for me…..Senior Micro Manager…..I know you know what I’m talking about and I would love to read your version of the micro manager.
I LOVED this post. Keep up the great work! XO
Many thanks for your comments.
Diana – thank you.
Amy – I think we may work together.
Screwdestiny – my belief entirely.
Sharlene – its a lot less funny when you’re a junior and you walk in on the senior managers doing an impression of you.
Lola – embezzle sounds enough like ‘fuzzy’ to be almost comforting. I’ve send many an email to the wrong person. The thought makes me judder.
Chuck – thank you sir.
Gina – alas, I’ve never been quiet enough to keep my name from being known.
Jai – still, at least you have a very cool name.
Andrew – thank you for the correction.
Pam – in a couple of weeks I may do just that.
*sigh* If I had a dollar for every time I asked my administration to not beat me with keyboards…. *sigh* I should really grow a pair.
With havin so much content and articles do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright violation? My website has a lot of completely unique content I\’ve either authored myself or outsourced but it looks like a lot of it is popping it up all over the web without my permission. Do you know any solutions to help protect against content from being ripped off? I\’d certainly appreciate it.
What rodents does Fin N Feather in Eureka CA generally carry?
Hey thats a very nice post you got there, Ill be checking back sometimes for more updates thx
Justin Bieber has mentioned that he wants to collaborate with Jay-Z and Will.i.am on his great new album. The musician, who is now working on the actual follow-up to My World 2.0 has stated that he would definitely definitely like to make a record together with the pair.
Im going to throw the spotlight on for a while.
hey there and thank you for your info – I have certainly picked up anything new from right here. I did however expertise a few technical points using this site, since I experienced to reload the site lots of times previous to I could get it to load correctly. I had been wondering if your hosting is OK? Not that I am complaining, but slow loading instances times will sometimes affect your placement in google and can damage your quality score if advertising and marketing with Adwords. Anyway I’m adding this RSS to my e-mail and can look out for a lot more of your respective fascinating content. Make sure you update this again soon..
Please let me know if you\’re looking for a article writer for your weblog. You have some really great articles and I think I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I\’d love to write some articles for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please send me an email if interested. Thanks!
Привет парни!
Меня зовут Роза, мне 23 года и я очень люблю заниматься сексом с молодыми парнями!
Денег за секс не беру, главное что бы у вас он всегда стоял
Люблю когда меня трахают в попку, иногда делаю минет!!
Мою анкету вы можете посмотреть на сайте знакомств ( http://tinyurl.com/znakpoza/ )
Что бы написать мне или позвонить, нужно пройти бесплатную регистрацию на сайте.
Я жду вас парни у себя в друзьях, надеюсь вам понравится со мной проводить время…
Hey folks, Could be the U.S. far greater off sticking with Syria\’s Assad?
OMG, do you see whats transpiring in Syria? Despite a brutal government crackdown, the manifestations continue
How can you get the Two for one lasagna communicate voucher to get fruit fridays?
Happy New Year to everyone!
Do you think get up currently pizzas vouchers? I am seeking a discount rule pertaining to dominos.
Poor news – Syria\’s \’mutilation mystery\’ deepens…
OMG, do you see whats happening in Syria? In spite of a brutal government crackdown, the manifestations continue
Negative news – Syria\’s \’mutilation mystery\’ increases…